I am sending my warmest greeting from the cold Hokkaido winter to everyone! The time that the bright sun is shining is getting shorter as winter solstice is arriving. This season does affect all our moods but this also means that the holidays are just around the corner! Maybe this is the reason why these holidays were set on literally the darkest days of the year, so that we can illuminate the days with our warm feelings and harmoniously live the long dark nights and contemplate.
I have just returned from my trip to the Philippines and it was one of my most educational trip I had so far. I am very happy to be reunited, even if it's just a week, with my love and talk with my mentors and good friends. I made sure to be able to have a conversation with them about one of the direst issues that affects people of a wide spectrum of ages- depression.
The sector of scientific medicine has already confirmed this mental health issue but many are still unaware or are still in denial of this real illness. Causes still vary and the exact source still seem to be shrouded in mystery but I may have found one of the possible sources. Allow me to share my opinion on this issue and I would like to approach this with utmost care of my words and expression. I know some of my friends have gone through this and may even be going through this currently. Some of you may even have loved ones who are going through this and are still struggling with its consequences.
So, before I start sharing my actual insights, I would like for you to take three deep breaths and simply read in silence.
Breathe In, Breathe Out
In, Out
In, Out
I deeply regard this as one of the issues that has affected my life because it has affected the lives of my loved ones. I would like to approach this the way an awakened person, the way a Buddha, would approach this- through deep inward reflection.
Depression is a suffering that all of us has gone through in some point of our lives. It may have been caused by an event in our lives that has caused deep sadness such as a loved one passing away, or some misfortune in our business, or even as simply as failing a simple written exam. The depth and intensity varies among all of us but the feeling of sadness is there and the time we spend on the feeling of sadness causes the depression to deepen.
For us to be able to solve a problem, we first have to accept that it exists. One thing I noticed is that depression is not openly talked about. It is as if some people are still in denial it exists and some perceive it as simply a "drama" in life or is simply an illusory problem. We cannot solve any problem if we did not accept that the problem exists. Acceptance that the issue exists is the very first key in understanding depression. Depression is real, it is not an illusion. The consequences of depression are real, people are getting disconnected from their loved ones, cutting their interaction with friends, stopped going to school, and in very saddening cases, taking their own lives. We can feel its effect all around us and it is very real. The illusion here is that there is no solution. Those who have dwelled in depression and unfortunately took their own lives may have thought that there was no other way out, that solutions are an illusion. Please believe me that there are solutions and many of us are simply unequipped with the proper tools to handle our feelings.
Give yourself some time to recognize and accept that the problem exists. Do not turn away from it, do not run away, do not pretend it does not exist. It is there, and as with any problems in life, it has a solution. We can never solve any problem if we cannot look at it directly, so this very first step is essential. This allows us to have a clearer view of the problem. It can help if you can find a quiet place where you can feel your feelings and have time to recognize them. You can take a stroll in a quiet forest or sit in a quiet park. Many have difficulty recognizing their feelings because there is too much distortion and distraction around. Social networking sites are easily reachable within our pockets, television, radio, loud music, loud people, are everywhere to distract us from our problems. Unfortunately, if this continues, we are one day surprised that the feeling has already lingered too long and has now grown far too big for us to handle.
So, give yourself some time to be with yourself. Give yourself the opportunity to be connected with the most important person in your life, your own self.
Now that we have accepted and recognized its existence, we can now delve in deeper and explore its possible causes. Many events in our lives happen without our control. Even some sad moments in our lives are beyond of what we can do but luckily there are a few things that we have control on, our feelings and our actions. One of the reasons why our world is very chaotic is because many people are not able to understand their feelings and have control over their actions.
Have you had experiences when you lashed out or shouted at someone because you felt angry? Did you feel that you were in control of your anger or were you controlled by your anger? When you are irritated or disagree with someone do you react violently and use hurtful words? When you are sad or suffering or your heart is in pain, do you simply cry and let it devour you or do you do something to relieve the suffering? And if you indeed do something about it, does this solve the problem or are you simple propagating more suffering? This is my insight on some people who unfortunately choose suicide as their solution to their suffering. I am deeply saddened to think that these people who have undergone tremendous suffering perceive suicide as the endpoint of their suffering when in reality, the suffering propagates to their loved ones who care deeply for them. One of the main reasons of this world's problems, I believe, is our inability to understand our feeling and control our actions. Even with our logic and our scientific tools, people still allow their feelings to control their actions and cause tremendous suffering.
When we recognize our feelings, we are one step closer into understanding them and we are now aware of what actions will follow. When we are angry, we now know that we are angry, and can now think clearly of what actions are possible to handle this anger. When we are sad, we now know that we are sad, and can now think of ways how to handle this sadness. When we are sad, should we dwell in the sadness? This is where one of the teaching of Buddha comes in handy, the teaching of impermanence. Accodring to him, nothing in this life is permanent, but this doesn't mean that we should be sad. This simply means that if we are sad at this point in our life, it means that it is not permanent, and happiness will soon come our way. When we are happy, we will cherish more our moments of happiness because we know that there will always be sad moments in the future. Should we be scared then if we are happy? Absolutely not! In fact, we should even be happier when we are happy because we know that this moment is only for happiness! If we are sad, we now know that happiness will soon arrive, so now, we can be happy! Without the polarity of up and down or left or right, the wheel of life cannot move forward. When we are talking with our loved one or any person in fact, we know that they or us are impermanent so we cherish more our moment with them and leave our smart phones behind and give our full presence to them. The greatest gift we can give and receive to any one is our full presence. If we have any friends who are depressed, our presence is our greatest gift. If we are depressed, the greatest gift we can give to our friend who is with us is our "graceful receiving" as what Fred Rogers mentioned in one of his interviews. Whether or not we can understand or agree with what they are saying, just simply being there is the greatest gift we can give and receive. If we understand this, we can now sincerely reach out to someone if we are suffering or reach out to someone who is suffering. We can be honest with our own self and speak honestly of what we truly feel. If we can truly convey our feelings without any aggression, then we can also accept sincere words and actions from those who truly wanted to help.
I have mentioned earlier about the ubiquitous distortion and distraction with the present age of convenience and digital interactions. I truly believe that one of the major sources of depression is the feeling of disconnection despite the convenient world of internet connection. We seem to have been disconnected with our own self and with our Creator that we have started questioning our purpose in life. We are now spending more time trying to figure out why do we exist than simply enjoying living harmoniously with the beautiful creations. In order to fill this void of disconnection, we drown ourselves with information from the news, instagram, twitter, facebook, and many others. We seek fulfillness from artificial ephemeral objects yet we still feel disconnected.
I believe that all of us are not disconnected from our own Being and our Creator. We are simply masking the connection, creating the illusion of disconnection. One of the ways we can remove this mask is by being more in touch with our own being by providing time of silence for reflection and reverence. Instead of binge watching dramas and movies, which only creates more chaos within us, we should find more time to be silent and be in touch with nature. I truly believe that if we have trouble trying to unmask our connection, nature can help us be in touch with our center. I also believe that this is why the indigenous people enjoyed living with nature without spending too much time pondering on their existence. In the bible, God provided Adam and Eve the Earth as a paradise to enjoy life and creations. The moment that they dissected life and tried to know its functions, they felt disconnected.
We are here to live in peace, harmony, and love with all of the creations!
Don't worry too much on those feelings of anger or sadness, for these too shall pass and know that you have control over them.
I am praying everyday and sending my intentions, that all of us will someday be a loving neighbor for one another and truly live a Heaven on this Earth.
"Isn't it wonderful to imagine that an infinite number of stars exist above you so as within you?"
(Photo taken on my family homestead on December 14, 2017, the day after I arrived from the Philippines)
