17 Mar 2017

The Story of Mamta

She stopped to take a breath and looked behind her as the grand view unfolded.

"It was not at easy path, but the view is worth all the effort." She told herself.

She remembered one of her Spiritual Ancestors teaching her "Mamta, you must always follow the narrow path step by step, after so, you will come to a broad path. This is the trustworthy main path."

Many have told her not to set out into the mountain. The locals called the mountain "Hepenki-nupuri". Hepenki means Source and the locals believed that whenever one reaches the top of the mountain, he or she goes back to the Source and can never return to the human realm.

"You are always looking at Hepenki-nupuri, Mamta, do you wish to go back to the Source?" her mother asked her.

"Totto, why is everyone afraid to go back to the Source?" she replied.

"Mamta, we are not afraid of the Source, it's just that once you reach the Source, you may not want to go back here again. If everyone goes back to the Source, who would be here to take care of the plants and animals?"

"But Totto, I heard from Ekashi that a few people have climbed back down after reaching the Source."

"Oh, that Ekashi! Yes, Mamta, a few, three, as far as I know, but countless of people have already climbed and never returned!"

"Totto, allow me to speak to Ekashi, only he can give permission to any townsfolk to climb the mountain."

"Oh Mamta, why? We are living so peacefully down here, so why go on about this?"

"Totto, you once told me, we are blessed here, that God gave us all of these."

"Yes, I did tell you that."

"But you also told me that many are still suffering, many are not able to live like us."

"Yes, I did tell you that as well."

"Then maybe when I reach the Source, I can know why and help them!"

"Mamta, you are not the first one to have thought of that. There are many others, but they faltered once they reached the Source."

"How do you know that, Totto?"

"Because they never returned."

Here she was, only a few steps before reaching the Peak where the Source lies. Before taking those few steps, she sat upon a rock and breathed. She saw her village, the nearby towns, the sea, other mountains, and thought, "I can now understand a little why somebody would want to stay here forever. If the view here is this beautiful, how much more if I reached the top?"

As she was resting, she reminisced her journey and how she met a few people coming down from the mountain.

The first person she met was a man who showed her how to penetrate the Soul of the World. She did not remember his name but he told her that he was a student of a man living in the desert.

"Why are you climbing back down? Isn't the Source a wonderful place?" she asked the man.

"It is, but that's not where my treasure lies." answered the man.

"Why go up, then?"

"To see the view of course, many said that the view up there is beautiful."

"You can penetrate the Soul of the World and practically go anywhere you like without going through the difficult climb, why go through the trouble of climbing up and down?" she asked.

"To someday meet you." he answered.

"Why do you want to meet me?"

"Because the omens told me so."

"Why would the omens tell you that?"

"That is for you to decide. I met you, I taught you the way to penetrate the Soul of the World. Now, I am climbing down to go back to where my treasure is."

"Will I be able to turn myself into a wind someday?"

"You already can. You can even turn silver into gold. But that is not your Personal Legend is it, Mamta?"

With those words, the man continued to climb down. A strong wind followed his path and he disappeared instantly.

She met the second person when she was struggling to find food. She was walking through the rocky part of the mountain where food was scarce. As she was about to collapse, two hands caught her and helped her take a seat upon a rock.

"Thank you" she said to the man.

"You're welcome, my child." he replied.

She noticed his palms had marks of wound, as if a sharp object had pierced through them.

"What happened to your palms?" she asked.

"Oh, a lot of things happened." he answered.

"Did the Source do that to you?"

"Oh no, no, no! My brothers and sisters did this to me."

"Why would they do that to you?"

"It's not their fault, they were not aware of the Source's greatness. My brothers and sisters are quite lost. It's alright, that's why the Source sent me again."

"Why would the Source send you again? Can you not live with the Source in peace and paradise?"

"You see, I cannot live permanently with the Source knowing that my brothers and sisters are still lost. I chose to climb back down so that I can bring them all with me again up there."

"Do they know that your coming back again to pick them up?"

"Yes, they do know, but exactly when I would come back, they do not know. Many people wrote what I taught before I decided to climb up the mountain but many also changed some of my words to fit their own agendas."

"If the people knew that you are coming back down again, why aren't they preparing to climb up with you?" she asked.

"Well, deciding to climb up the mountain requires tremendous courage and trust. Many seem to lack that, rather, many are unaware that they have that courage within themselves. They fear the Source. They fear judgement. I am from the Source, we all are, and let me tell you, it is pure bliss! They are too attached to what they have that they cannot let go and climb up to the Source. They do not know that we can all climb up and back down again and know that the Source provided all of these."

"So what are you going to do if they decided not to join you in climbing up?"

"Well, that is something that I cannot imagine. I Love them so much, that I trust that all of them will. All of my brothers and sisters will decide to join me and climb up to the Source so that I can show them how simple it is. Then we can all climb back down and start anew."

"Where do you get your complete trust to your brothers and sisters?" she asked.

"From the Source."

"I hope I can join you when you climb up again with everyone" she said to the man.

"You know what, I'll wait for you down there so that we can all climb up together."

"Thank you." she said to the man.

"Here are some bread, you're hungry, right?" said the man as he handed five loaves to her.

She met the third person as she was passing through a rocky cliff. As the man walked through the cliff, flowers bloomed instantly, sprouts emerged through the rocks, and the birds flew near him.

"Hello, would you like some bread?" she offered to the man.

"Oh, why thank you dear, but I already received five loaves from a man a while ago." he answered.

"Did you also reach the Source?" she asked.

"Yes, I did."

"Are you going back to invite the people to climb up with you?"

"Yes, I will."

"Are you not afraid of what people will do to you when you try to invite them?" she asked.

"Why would I be afraid?" he replied.

"When the man I met before tried to invite people to climb up with him, his brothers and sisters, crucified him." she replied.

"Is he not climbing down again to invite them again?" he asked.

"Yes, he is. I don't understand why though. How much Love can one person carry?" she replied.

"My dear, the man you met a while ago is a man who has seen suffering, understood it, identified its source, and knows the path to well-being. When you have fully experienced all of this, you will do the same, mark my words."

"How can I experience all of those things?" she asked.

"Through mediation and deep looking. But, you can also continue to climb up and ask the Source. I shall not hinder your self-discovery."

"When I reach the Source, can I ask the Source anything? Will the Source answer?" she asked.

"That will be your experience, I can only tell you one thing, prior to reaching the Source, you will have to meet one more person. All of us, even the man you met a while ago, have met that person before we reached the Source."

"Will that person stop me from reaching the Source?" she asked.

"No, but many have stopped their own selves to reaching the Source when they met this person." he answered.

"But I want reach the Source. I want to find a way to help other people experience happiness the way we experience it in our village." she said to the man.

"Go ahead, I am also climbing back down to share the same. I'll wait for you down there, along with the man you met a while ago. Let's climb up together." he said as he smiled and continued to climb down.

After reminiscing all the people she had met, she stood up, took a few steps, and looked over the top. There she saw, sitting on top of the rock, a woman. As the woman turned her face towards her, she saw her own self. She stood up and walked slowly towards her. She stopped when the distance between she and her were only few steps.

"Hey! You finally made it!" she said.

Mamta was silent.

"Helloo, are you there? Don't space out on me now! I have been waiting for so long!"

After finally pulling herself together, Mamta spoke, "Who are you?"

"Well, duh, I'm you of course!"

"Did the other people also meet you?" she asked

"No, they met their own selves."

"Who are you, really?" she asked.

"Well, to put it simply, I am you, taken all the good parts out. I am your darkness, greed, lust, pride, envy, sloth, you name it!"

"Are you going to stop me from reaching the Source?" she asked.

"No, but I'm here to tell you there is no Source. So, it's meaningless to say that I'm going to stop you from reaching the Source when there is in fact, no Source to be reached!"

"But all of the people I met along the way has told me about the Source." she replied

"Well, I'm here to tell you there ain't no Source. Look around, do you see anything else besides me?"

Indeed there was nothing around but the majestic view and the woman standing in front of her.

"See? You climbed up for nothing pal! But you know what, have a seat, let's talk."

She sat down with her and she started to speak.

"You see, I exist in everyone's heart. I am in all the details. You can say that I am really a powerful being. I am within the bombs that people created. I am within the disease that people created. I am within the drugs that people created. I am within the laws and regulations that people created. In fact, I am even within the institutions you call "Religion" that speak of the Source. It's so easy to sneak into everything. I can start small like being envy of another child's toy or I can go big and enslave all people! Man, I am so powerful."

"What do you get from all of that?" she asked.

"Nothing, I get nothing, but the people, ohh, they get too much satisfaction from that. They get satisfaction from killing other people, from making other people suffer. They get satisfaction by raping the land, their brothers and sisters. They get satisfaction from stealing from each other. They get satisfaction from pulling their brothers and sisters down. While I get nothing from it, they enjoy doing it too much."

"Are they aware of it?" she asked.

"Many people are. They decorate their actions with words such as "practicality", "research", "development", "progress", "modernization", "Word of God" oh man, oh man! These people are so in love with these words that they dedicate their whole lives into these words. They make a fool out of themselves, actually, a bigger fool because they already know it and they still choose to do it! They know it's poison, yet they still ingest it."

"Is there no other way to stop this?" she asked.

"Now, why would I tell you the answer to that? Even I can't do anything about it, the people themselves are doing it by themselves! I just have to sit back, relax and watch them destroy themselves."

"What would happen if they actually destroyed themselves? You would cease to exist." she said.

"Well, whether I continue to exist or not is not important. The end point is the same anyway."

"You are sad, you are sad because whichever direction humans will go, you, us, will cease to exist." she said.

"Now, where did that come from? Why are you  sympathising with me? I am your darkness, remember? I created all this suffering"

"When you cease to exist, I will also cease to exist, that is why you are sad. You did not create all of these, you were created by us. We are all Creators and we even have the capability to create darkness, you, even. Should we continue this path, we will be eventually destroyed by the being we created and all will cease to exist. That is why you are sad." she said.

"Stop this nonsense."

"I am correct, aren't I?" she said.

"Stop."

"Please, come to me. I shall embrace you. We will exist together- in harmony." she said to her.

"Darkness, my ego, you are also a part of me, you shan't cease to exist."

"I shall balance you within me."

"If you have greed, I can balance you with generosity."

"If you have lust, I can balance you with purity."

"If you have pride, I can balance you with humility."

"If you have hate, I can balance you with Love." she told her as she embraced her. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she merged within her and created equanimity and grace.

"I'm going to climb back down" she told herself.

"But you haven't met the Source yet." she heard a voice within her.

"Don't worry, I already have." she replied.

"I told you, I'm not the Source."

"Yes, you are not, but both of us together, we are the Source." she replied with a smile as the flowers around her bloomed, seeds sprouted through the rocks, springs welled-up at the peak of the mountain, and countless colorful birds flew all around.

"Let's go back down. I'm going to share my answer to the three people I met." she told herself carrying a garden hoe and some seeds within her hands.





10 Mar 2017

Answering some of your questions

I went back again to the Philippines before the planting season starts in Hokkaido. I have a few reasons why I decided to go back to the Philippines but all those goals were changed as my stay went by. I met new friends, reconnected with people I met years before, and discovering new connections that further deepened my understanding as to why I experienced all of what I experienced.

One of the highlights of my stay was giving a short lecture on how Anastasia has influenced my life and how I am now building my own Family Domain or Space of Love. I was able to share my insights and experiences to a class of approximately 30 students. Prior to the lecture, while I was waiting in the office of my Professor, I saw a stack of papers that I later found out was their exam. One of the questions that intrigued me the most was about what is their biggest question in their life right now. 

Their answers were equally interesting! Most of the questions were about their existence and their purpose in life. Even after my lecture, many still gave the same question as their written comment.

I am so happy to be able to be asked with these questions,

What is the purpose of life? 

Why do I exist?

What should I do next?

It seems as though looking at them from the outside, these questions seem covered by a thick layer of ego that prevents them from facing these directly. I am happy that the very loving Professor asked them what is their biggest question in their life right now because if these questions remained unanswered, it will creep in their spirit, weaken their will, and continue to live in the illusion of being lost. 

I am honored because I can now give my own answers to these questions. I have read many philosophical and spiritual books but the answer that I will provide is not the ultimate answer. I can only share my own experience and tell how I found my "treasure" as Paulo Coelho beautifully portrays it, where my heart lies. Just as Buddha mentioned, my fingers are pointing towards the moon, look at the moon, not my finger. It's like studying for an exam, you don't study the answers for the exam, you study how to find the answers on the exam. I will now share how I experienced it, but you will have your own experience, certainly, and trust yourself to it.

God's will and surrender

One of the roots as to why we question our existence is because of our concept of god. We are told to believe in God, that God is this, God is that. The problem is, most of the people that tell us what God is, have not truly experienced what they are saying. 

Yes, there are scriptures, you can read them, but make sure to contemplate on them and confirm it yourself. Scriptures were written and can be changed to fit one's own selfish agenda so trust yourself to your own experience, your own insight, and your own understanding. God is not many things that you think God is. God can only be experienced through deep looking and fervent contemplation. Once you experience God, Oneness, you will not be able to explain it. Before we say you will surrender everything to God's will, make sure that you have no concept of God first. Surrender means experiencing every moment, every second, every encounter and pouring all of yourself to it. You do not discriminate whether this is good or this is bad. I contemplated and meditated on this for quite a long time but I experienced and felt the Oneness with my surrounding once or twice so far in my lifetime while I was touching the grass on my land.

I felt that true surrender can only be done once you have removed all your concepts of God. You have to empty the cup first for it to be filled again. Once you have thrown away all your concepts of God, then the pure, experience of Oneness can be felt and you truly surrender because you will know that there is no believing, there is only trust. I trust in what I felt, what I experienced and that can never be destroyed by any troubles or challenges. Belief can someday bring doubt, but knowing and experiencing will result to unbreakable trust. 

Because of my experience, I can surrender myself completely. I have now surrendered to where the next omen will bring me. Now, whether a good or bad thing happens, I now look at it as something to experience. We cannot control everything that happens outside but what we can control is how we perceive things and as our perception changes, so does our surrounding.

BASICALLY, go ahead and surrender yourself and trust to your experience of how God works in your life. Don't surrender to other's concept. Do not walk blindly. Open your eyes and look into the signs. Many are only fearful of opening their eyes because it might blind them for their eyes have been closed for so long that the darkness may feel more comfortable. 

Looking Outside

Many are also looking outside, seeking answers. Many try to escape from facing their inner demons and go out traveling, watch t.v., drink alcohol, party, and many more. Many try to find answers when in fact it is already in their pockets they are just too busy looking into other people's pocket. You can look into other people's pocket and find nothing. The answer that I have found may not be similar to yours but the place where I searched for it, which is inward, is similar to yours. Many people have become lazy and try blaming others, looking outside, and simply accepting that they still lack something within when in fact, their answer is just covered by a very thick pile of ego. The ego has covered the truth within them and their attitude towards it adds more cover on the truth. The truth is like a grass trying to grow on the cracks on the cement. It thrives to seek the light yet we continue to pour cement over it. We are still fortunate that the truth wants to seek the light for if it stops, we would become barren, lifeless, landscape of cold concrete.

Purpose

After that "experience" when I touched the grass on my land, I realized what my purpose is in this life or my existence. The purpose is not to question what your purpose is but to simply experience life and be happy. Create, enjoy the present moment, experience the wonders of Creations, bring new birth in this life, these are what makes me happy. What makes you happy, as long as this brings true happiness to others, to your environment, then do that. You exist here to experience this life and be happy and help others be happy. The better question to ask is "what are the steps I need to take to be happy and to make others happy?"

I find that being mindful of the present moment, experiencing life as it is, is a great way to derive happiness from any problems. Most of our stress and problems arise from our overthinking of situations that have not happened yet but we imagined them out of fear and fear multiplies the scale of this thought. Also, you can only share happiness once you are overflowing with happiness. You cannot be truly happy if you are sacrificing your mental, spiritual, and physical health to make other happy. This is not true happiness because if others see you hurting yourself just to make them happy, it will cause them unhappiness. 

Your purpose is not to change the world, your purpose is to change yourself and become truly happy. When one has truly overcome and embraced the ego, found true happiness, then we can naturally help others be happy without forcefully doing it.


This is part one of my answers or insights from my sharing in the Philippines, please wait for part two!




Photo of The Galaxy Farm Farm Away of NuWave Farmers in the University of the Philippines Los Banos