I went back again to the Philippines before the planting season starts in Hokkaido. I have a few reasons why I decided to go back to the Philippines but all those goals were changed as my stay went by. I met new friends, reconnected with people I met years before, and discovering new connections that further deepened my understanding as to why I experienced all of what I experienced.
One of the highlights of my stay was giving a short lecture on how Anastasia has influenced my life and how I am now building my own Family Domain or Space of Love. I was able to share my insights and experiences to a class of approximately 30 students. Prior to the lecture, while I was waiting in the office of my Professor, I saw a stack of papers that I later found out was their exam. One of the questions that intrigued me the most was about what is their biggest question in their life right now.
Their answers were equally interesting! Most of the questions were about their existence and their purpose in life. Even after my lecture, many still gave the same question as their written comment.
I am so happy to be able to be asked with these questions,
What is the purpose of life?
Why do I exist?
What should I do next?
It seems as though looking at them from the outside, these questions seem covered by a thick layer of ego that prevents them from facing these directly. I am happy that the very loving Professor asked them what is their biggest question in their life right now because if these questions remained unanswered, it will creep in their spirit, weaken their will, and continue to live in the illusion of being lost.
I am honored because I can now give my own answers to these questions. I have read many philosophical and spiritual books but the answer that I will provide is not the ultimate answer. I can only share my own experience and tell how I found my "treasure" as Paulo Coelho beautifully portrays it, where my heart lies. Just as Buddha mentioned, my fingers are pointing towards the moon, look at the moon, not my finger. It's like studying for an exam, you don't study the answers for the exam, you study how to find the answers on the exam. I will now share how I experienced it, but you will have your own experience, certainly, and trust yourself to it.
God's will and surrender
One of the roots as to why we question our existence is because of our concept of god. We are told to believe in God, that God is this, God is that. The problem is, most of the people that tell us what God is, have not truly experienced what they are saying.
Yes, there are scriptures, you can read them, but make sure to contemplate on them and confirm it yourself. Scriptures were written and can be changed to fit one's own selfish agenda so trust yourself to your own experience, your own insight, and your own understanding. God is not many things that you think God is. God can only be experienced through deep looking and fervent contemplation. Once you experience God, Oneness, you will not be able to explain it. Before we say you will surrender everything to God's will, make sure that you have no concept of God first. Surrender means experiencing every moment, every second, every encounter and pouring all of yourself to it. You do not discriminate whether this is good or this is bad. I contemplated and meditated on this for quite a long time but I experienced and felt the Oneness with my surrounding once or twice so far in my lifetime while I was touching the grass on my land.
I felt that true surrender can only be done once you have removed all your concepts of God. You have to empty the cup first for it to be filled again. Once you have thrown away all your concepts of God, then the pure, experience of Oneness can be felt and you truly surrender because you will know that there is no believing, there is only trust. I trust in what I felt, what I experienced and that can never be destroyed by any troubles or challenges. Belief can someday bring doubt, but knowing and experiencing will result to unbreakable trust.
Because of my experience, I can surrender myself completely. I have now surrendered to where the next omen will bring me. Now, whether a good or bad thing happens, I now look at it as something to experience. We cannot control everything that happens outside but what we can control is how we perceive things and as our perception changes, so does our surrounding.
BASICALLY, go ahead and surrender yourself and trust to your experience of how God works in your life. Don't surrender to other's concept. Do not walk blindly. Open your eyes and look into the signs. Many are only fearful of opening their eyes because it might blind them for their eyes have been closed for so long that the darkness may feel more comfortable.
Looking Outside
Many are also looking outside, seeking answers. Many try to escape from facing their inner demons and go out traveling, watch t.v., drink alcohol, party, and many more. Many try to find answers when in fact it is already in their pockets they are just too busy looking into other people's pocket. You can look into other people's pocket and find nothing. The answer that I have found may not be similar to yours but the place where I searched for it, which is inward, is similar to yours. Many people have become lazy and try blaming others, looking outside, and simply accepting that they still lack something within when in fact, their answer is just covered by a very thick pile of ego. The ego has covered the truth within them and their attitude towards it adds more cover on the truth. The truth is like a grass trying to grow on the cracks on the cement. It thrives to seek the light yet we continue to pour cement over it. We are still fortunate that the truth wants to seek the light for if it stops, we would become barren, lifeless, landscape of cold concrete.
Purpose
After that "experience" when I touched the grass on my land, I realized what my purpose is in this life or my existence. The purpose is not to question what your purpose is but to simply experience life and be happy. Create, enjoy the present moment, experience the wonders of Creations, bring new birth in this life, these are what makes me happy. What makes you happy, as long as this brings true happiness to others, to your environment, then do that. You exist here to experience this life and be happy and help others be happy. The better question to ask is "what are the steps I need to take to be happy and to make others happy?"
I find that being mindful of the present moment, experiencing life as it is, is a great way to derive happiness from any problems. Most of our stress and problems arise from our overthinking of situations that have not happened yet but we imagined them out of fear and fear multiplies the scale of this thought. Also, you can only share happiness once you are overflowing with happiness. You cannot be truly happy if you are sacrificing your mental, spiritual, and physical health to make other happy. This is not true happiness because if others see you hurting yourself just to make them happy, it will cause them unhappiness.
Your purpose is not to change the world, your purpose is to change yourself and become truly happy. When one has truly overcome and embraced the ego, found true happiness, then we can naturally help others be happy without forcefully doing it.
This is part one of my answers or insights from my sharing in the Philippines, please wait for part two!
Photo of The Galaxy Farm Farm Away of NuWave Farmers in the University of the Philippines Los Banos
